So Dear to Mine Heart
I don't know if you've had the experience of having a close friend get rejected by somebody else, and being told you couldn't associate with that person anymore. Actually, I haven't either, at least not in the sense you're probably thinking of. No, my situation is much worse. I'm being told that I can't be friends with my commas anymore.
Let me explain. There's a certain thing that the British do which I admire immensely, and that is that when they're writing and they come to a quote, they quote the thing, and then they add a comma after the quotation marks. Like this.
When Tommy refused to "take it", Dicky berated him about the ethics of folksinging.
Nota bene: The comma is outside of the quotation marks. That is because the only thing that was quoted was the word "take" and the word "it". There was no comma in the original quotation. Imagine how silly that would look:
Dicky: Take it,!
or
Dicky: Tommy, folksingers always take it,.
It just doesn't work. So the Brits were using their heads when they decided to put the necessary clause-separating comma outside of the quotation marks in a sensible, logical, and practical fashion.
Are you following me?
Anyway, I have long admired this "ex-quote comma", to the point of having adopted it as my own and using it whenever a quote comes at the end of a clause. (Like I just did in that sentence.) In fact, I use it so often that it has become very dear to me. It is logical and obeys the rules. It neatly organizes things and makes matters irrefutably clear. It keeps sentences neat and tidy. I love this comma. Whenever I see it, it brings a surge of warm happy comma joy to my heart.
Unfortunately, we come to something ugly here. We come to the unpleasant part. You see, in American we do things differently. Perhaps it was some bizarre, obscure way of sticking it to the English when we gained our independence as a country or something. You know, "We're rebelling, go ahead and keep your lousy British comma, we can top that!" At any rate, Americans abandoned all logic and started including the comma inside of the quotation marks. Observe.
Tommy berated Dicky for being "belligerent," which got quite a laugh out of the audience.
Ahh! Ahh! Suddenly it doesn't make sense anymore! Did Tommy really say "belligerent comma"?! Does the first clause of that sentence end with the comma, with the second quotation mark stuck as a permanent member of the second clause?!? If the comma is part of the quote, then where's the other comma needed to keep the two ends of the sentence apart?!?!?!? You SEE??? When things like this happen, when foolish people take stupid liberties and start thinking they can mess with the punctuation system howsoever they please, disasters occur! The comma is abused! Chaos ensues! Clear, organized sentences become inane strings of babble!
This is no credit to the intelligence of whatever American invented this crazy scheme, and it is my firm belief that it is no credit to the intelligence of anyone else who employs it, either. Therefore, desiring to uphold my grammar standards (and keep friends with my poor dear ex-quote comma, too), I have continued to use the British method even though I have been well informed that it is "incorrect" and "wrong". It simply makes more sense. It simply follows.
But all of a sudden I am being persecuted for it. My English teacher returns all of my papers with red marks (well, usually blue or green, since she prefers different pens) where there are quotes, saying I should include the comma, it's the way we do things, stop excluding that comma, put it in the quotes for crying out loud! Such words pierce me to the soul. They are like knives to my heart. Abandon my comma? Subscribe to the senseless traditions of a misled nation? NEVER! I put my foot down. I told my teacher I would not stop using that comma. I would NOT!
And yet she continues to take points off of my assignments. Bloody American way, kriffit. May it be fachied forever.
My point in blathering to you about this? Be strong. Stand up for what you believe. Listen to the Smothers Brothers. Uphold firm principles of logic and grammar, and do not be swayed by those who would tell you it's just "not the way we do it", because they don't know what they're talking about! LONG LIVE THE BRITISH AND THEIR COMMAS!!!
This could be the start of a movement that sweeps the nation. Who knows.
~Yfalle Eruvyweth
Let me explain. There's a certain thing that the British do which I admire immensely, and that is that when they're writing and they come to a quote, they quote the thing, and then they add a comma after the quotation marks. Like this.
When Tommy refused to "take it", Dicky berated him about the ethics of folksinging.
Nota bene: The comma is outside of the quotation marks. That is because the only thing that was quoted was the word "take" and the word "it". There was no comma in the original quotation. Imagine how silly that would look:
Dicky: Take it,!
or
Dicky: Tommy, folksingers always take it,.
It just doesn't work. So the Brits were using their heads when they decided to put the necessary clause-separating comma outside of the quotation marks in a sensible, logical, and practical fashion.
Are you following me?
Anyway, I have long admired this "ex-quote comma", to the point of having adopted it as my own and using it whenever a quote comes at the end of a clause. (Like I just did in that sentence.) In fact, I use it so often that it has become very dear to me. It is logical and obeys the rules. It neatly organizes things and makes matters irrefutably clear. It keeps sentences neat and tidy. I love this comma. Whenever I see it, it brings a surge of warm happy comma joy to my heart.
Unfortunately, we come to something ugly here. We come to the unpleasant part. You see, in American we do things differently. Perhaps it was some bizarre, obscure way of sticking it to the English when we gained our independence as a country or something. You know, "We're rebelling, go ahead and keep your lousy British comma, we can top that!" At any rate, Americans abandoned all logic and started including the comma inside of the quotation marks. Observe.
Tommy berated Dicky for being "belligerent," which got quite a laugh out of the audience.
Ahh! Ahh! Suddenly it doesn't make sense anymore! Did Tommy really say "belligerent comma"?! Does the first clause of that sentence end with the comma, with the second quotation mark stuck as a permanent member of the second clause?!? If the comma is part of the quote, then where's the other comma needed to keep the two ends of the sentence apart?!?!?!? You SEE??? When things like this happen, when foolish people take stupid liberties and start thinking they can mess with the punctuation system howsoever they please, disasters occur! The comma is abused! Chaos ensues! Clear, organized sentences become inane strings of babble!
This is no credit to the intelligence of whatever American invented this crazy scheme, and it is my firm belief that it is no credit to the intelligence of anyone else who employs it, either. Therefore, desiring to uphold my grammar standards (and keep friends with my poor dear ex-quote comma, too), I have continued to use the British method even though I have been well informed that it is "incorrect" and "wrong". It simply makes more sense. It simply follows.
But all of a sudden I am being persecuted for it. My English teacher returns all of my papers with red marks (well, usually blue or green, since she prefers different pens) where there are quotes, saying I should include the comma, it's the way we do things, stop excluding that comma, put it in the quotes for crying out loud! Such words pierce me to the soul. They are like knives to my heart. Abandon my comma? Subscribe to the senseless traditions of a misled nation? NEVER! I put my foot down. I told my teacher I would not stop using that comma. I would NOT!
And yet she continues to take points off of my assignments. Bloody American way, kriffit. May it be fachied forever.
My point in blathering to you about this? Be strong. Stand up for what you believe. Listen to the Smothers Brothers. Uphold firm principles of logic and grammar, and do not be swayed by those who would tell you it's just "not the way we do it", because they don't know what they're talking about! LONG LIVE THE BRITISH AND THEIR COMMAS!!!
This could be the start of a movement that sweeps the nation. Who knows.
~Yfalle Eruvyweth
posted by Yfalle | 3:08 PM
7 Comments:
Hmmm... I've always done it the British way. Guess you and me are going to start a Rebelution!! QLAD.
~Nella
"America is full of stupid people", as my brother Ian would say!!
~Nella
Can I help??? :-) I've always done it that way because it seems to me that it is more 'propper', if you will.
My Xanga blog is xanga.com/akaIggy, by the way.
Alas, I lose a point for every grammatical mistake on my Rhetoric homework--that means I have to put my commas INSIDE the quotations marks. Therefore I am more comfortable doing it that way because I have had to adapt. But I do agree with you---a sort of wishful-thinking agreement. Sigh. English is such a stupid language.
:-)
I 'm not sure which way I do it. I guess I really just haven't thought about it too much.
That's a lot of food for thought. Give me a while to give a real response.
But in the mean time, I am unveiling my presence on Blogger!
Salut!
Andrew
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